Turning 21

As I am writing this, it’s two days until my 21st birthday.

When I was 19, pushing 20, I dreaded my 20th birthday. I felt like it was so old. I believed that I had to have my life together and that caused me so much anxiety. It was the first year I wasn’t excited for my birthday. The first year I didn’t want to get older. I was scared of the daunting number 20 and all that carried with it.

I’m now turning 21. I look back at 20 and see one of the best years of my life. The year I dreaded the most turned out to be one of the best. I gained confidence somewhere along the line and started to love my body. For the first time in my life, I felt comfortable in my skin.

At the end of March, when quarantine began, I decided that I wanted to do something with my spare time. I was tired of feeling weak. I would reminisce on my younger self and how strong she was. I decided I would start to work out and maybe eat a little healthier to gain muscle and feel strong again.

Thet decision led me to becoming the healthiest (mind and body) and happiest I have ever been in my life. For the first time, I have been able to take care of my body, love it, and treat it well. Every time in the past when I had tried to workout and eat healthy, I would fall back into the trap of my eating disorder. That didn’t happen this time. That’s because I learned to love my body, went into this journey with no intention of changing it, and came out on the other end the best version of myself.

I am so grateful for the age of 20. I would dream of loving my body, feeling confident in my skin, and taking care of myself. That dream became a reality this year. I will forever be grateful and look back on this year as one of the best years of my life.

I am excited to turn 21 and even more excited to see what it teaches me, who I become, and how I grow.

xoxo, Kimmy

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