I’ve been pretty open about my mental illnesses on here and I will continue to do so looking forward. Today, I wanted to share my experience with going to therapy.
Junior year of high school I became depressed for many reasons. I decided one day that I wanted to get help. I had helped myself in the past and made myself happy again, but it took a lot of effort and time. This time, I felt too lazy and tired to do it. This is when I decided that seeing a therapist would be best.
It’s already hard enough coming to terms on your own for this, but I also then had to explain to my parents why I wanted to see a therapist, and then had to explain to the therapist why I was feeling that way.
It was late November, early December and there wasn’t much time until therapists started going on winter break. When you finally decide to go to therapy, you want to do it right away because it already took you a while to make the decision. Having the holidays coming up wasn’t ideal timing, but I tried to make it work.
My parents insurance provided me with a list of therapists I could see that they would cover.
I knew I wanted a female therapist and someone who was young. I started going through the list and googling the therapists. There wasn’t much information online to go off of, so I just chose two random ones that could see me immediately.
The first therapist I went to was an older woman; she could’ve been my grandma. I started telling her about why I was depressed and she started giving me all of this wild “advice”. As a rational and logical human being, I was stunned and immediately threw her ideas out the window.
Confused and dazed by her “help”, I decided to try the other therapist I had found. One or two days later I met up with her. She was around my moms age and she had cat pillows, so I already felt more confident about this therapist- more so than the other.
We sat down and I explained to her that it was my choice to come here and that I was depressed. She of course asked why and I went through a list of problems going on at the time that were making me depressed.
She seemed unimpressed nor satisfied with the information I had shared, saying there is no reason for me to feel depressed.
I had this big secret that I had never spoken of out loud, and it was a big deal for me. This secret in of itself would be anyone’s sole reason of being depressed. In a matter of trying to prove myself to her, I shared this secret.
Again, she was not satisfied. She then continued to invalidate my feelings by saying that I have no reason to be depressed and that my problems are not problems.
This was such a shock for me. How could a therapist invalidate their patients feelings?
After the meeting, I obviously never returned. I was afraid that her words would discourage me from continuing on my studies of becoming a therapist. To my luck, her words did the complete opposite. That experience showed me that there are some terrible therapists out in the world, and this motivated me to work harder at trying to become the best therapist I could be. Instead of pushing me away, this experience brought me more passion and drive.
I want to say that if you have ever experienced a therapist like this, I am deeply sorry for that. Do not let anyone ever invalidate your feelings- you’re feeling them for a reason! If someone ever tries to, don’t listen to them and don’t believe them.
I do recommend everyone try therapy and try to find a great therapist if you want one. If you’re going through something difficult, I find it best to talk to someone- whether that’s a therapist or not.
In regards to sharing my experience, I don’t mean to discourage you or scare you away from therapy. I am simply sharing my personal experience and what I learned from it. Not every therapist is going to be this way and I am sure there are great one’s out there- we just have to find them.
If you have ever met with an amazing therapist, please share that. Tell friends, leave a review online, rave about them, get the word out! People need this information because sometimes these therapists barely have any information available about them.
If you’ve read this entire thing I want to thank you! I posted a video about this topic in more detail on my youtube channel: youtube.com/c/Kimmyvilla
More details in regards to my mental illnesses will be addressed in the future in both written and video forms. Thank you 🙂