Finding Beauty

I’ve never actually said this story/realization out loud before. I would want to share it with close friends but never found a time. So here it is for you:

Last year I met a boy who quickly became my boyfriend and my “best friend”. He was eventually going to leave for college in a completely different country with an 8 hour time difference from home.

He hated where we lived. He hated the people. He hated his mother. He looked at life very negatively, and using college as a way to escape and….

“get as far away from here as possible”.

As his girlfriend, I spent a lot of time with him and these thoughts started to rub off on me.

He encouraged me to hate where we lived and to hate my parents because he didn’t want to feel alone. Blinded by love, I followed and didn’t even see it coming. I didn’t see how terrible this would be.

After he left and everything shattered before my eyes, I was finally free. I could do what I wanted and say what I wanted. I could feel the way I wanted to feel.

I COULD LIKE THE THINGS I LIKE AND NOT BE JUDGED ANYMORE.

I tried to get rid of him. I tried to do the opposite of everything he liked. In the process, I realized how much I had let him control.

I adventured my city. I found the best spots with the most gorgeous views. I would watch the sunset from up the street. I found beauty in a place that he hated. I learned to love this city.

I spent more time with my mom. I grew up and we could actually get along a lot better. We’ve grown closer and bonded over life experiences. I can go to her if I have any problems. She’s my best friend now. I can depend on her.

Its so sad to see how much I let him change me.

But its so uplifting to see that I’ve risen from the ashes.

So heres a little message to my ex:

“I’m shining like fireworks over your sad empty town”

(It’s a beautiful town, but to you it’s sad and empty.)

One thought on “Finding Beauty

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